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Sgt. Clutch "Nasty" McDutch
The phrases "tough as nails", "nerves of steel", and "bonefide badass" are vast understatements that fail to desribe a man that truly is the most hardcore mother fucker alive. Displaying an almost suicidal bravado in the face of unspeakable danger, McDutch has proved himself time and time again to be an invaluable asset in any direct action military strategy. While it would appear that McDutch contains a preternautral amount of knowledge concerning military strategy, unit tactics, hand to hand and weapons combat; McDutch states that he's "just not a pussy" and "doesn't fucking give a shit." McDutch began his notorious military career as a grunt during the Normandy D-Day assault, after only minutes off the boat it was obvious the enemy was dealing with an indomintable juggernaut capable of inflicting unforgivable carnage. To say McDutch was the key to victory in the assault would be an understatement, McDutch was the assault. Numerous eye witness acounts describe some of McDutch's remarkable feats. One soldier describes a particularly dire situation: " We were scared shitless surrounded by two SS death squads pinning us down with a heavy volume of grenade and machine gun fire. McDutch saw our comms man trying to radio in artillery when he grabbed the headset and demanded they fire on their exact position. We all were even more terrified when, in an attempt to rationalize his decision, McDutch stated 'What you faggots afraid of artillery now too?' He then leapt from our foxhole dragging me and the 3 other soldiers out into the fray. He managed to throw his bayonet into the first german soldiers face while doing a 360 to a kneeling position emptying his Thompson clip into the remaining 7 while a defeaning series of artie shells blasted right along the axis of our foxhole killing the second ambush squad that was charging us. We had all crippled under the fear of imminent death while McDutch had welcomed it. He helped us up into formation when he saw 2 more death squads running in on our flank. He offered me a drink from his canteen, I took a swig and immediatly spit out the warm burning scotch. I looked up at him in disbelief that he had been carrying around a canteen full of hard liquor all day, he smiled at me and said "Welcome to the shit soldier." Carrying his unit through op after op granted Mcdutch an absurd amount of commendations and medals from his superiors. By the end of the Vietnam War McDutch's unorthodox tactics and 100% mission success rate had granted him legendary status within the military and defense community. Now within the armed forces whenever a heroic and decisive act of valor was performed it was known as "clutch" or "fucking clutch nasty." Eventually McDutch was offered induction into the governments top-secret super soldier program ,scoffing at the idea McDutch explained " Give that prima donna go-juice to some pussy that needs it, I shoot more potent loads out of my dick." In truth, he literally meant exactly that. It was later discovered that the super soldier serum had improved tenfold when government scientists with the help of Jizzneto covertly extracted McDutch's seamen. Because of McDutch's unique disposition towards war he has often found himself at odds with his superiors and the men under his command. Receving complaints including but not limmited to: general disrespect towards military customs, numerous counts of insubordination, indifference towards ROE and the geneva convention, carrying out missions while drunk, and reckless endangerment of the welfare of his soldiers. McDutch opposes all these "complaints" stating that he didn't understand that these were negative things. The mortality rate in his squads is astounding considering the amount of danger he puts himself and others in. Scientists and military analysts have studied these missions and cases and have come to a consensus that this is largely due to the fact that McDutch is just a "killing machine" and "doesn't take shit from anyone." McDutch Quotes: "Men, what doesn't kill you...deserves to be killed"